“Temporary Fulfillment vs. True Freedom: Redefining the Cultural View of Love that Mankind has Distorted"
written by Hannah Haskins, class of 2023

Twirling around in a baby blue, glittery princess dress, the little girl fantasizes that she is awaiting her Prince Charming to live happily ever after. Without a care in the world, she imagines being a princess, attending whimsical balls and dressing in floor-length formal gowns. However, as the pressures of the world cave in as she grows up, she slowly loses her innocence and wanderlust nature. After a while, she no longer dreams of fitting into the glass slipper or fulfilling her duties in a fairytale castle. Instead, years have passed, and she begins comparing what she wears to that of other girls. It’s time for her first dance, and she wonders if wearing something tighter or more appealing will give herself greater attention or value in the eyes of her peers. The judgemental words of the world make their way into her mind. If only she were prettier or had a better figure, then maybe her “prince” would finally sweep her away into her fairytale dream. A psychological rollercoaster often begins, caught in this vortex of seeking validation. After quite some time, this sexualized identity begins to form, and the innocent little princess is nothing but a past memory.

The little boy dreams of being a knight in shining armor and fulfilling his duty of saving a country from pain and loss. He strives to be a protector, exemplifying strength and bravery. He carries this mindset with him throughout his years. However, rather than being a strong knight playing pretend, he desires to exude the same type of strength in other ways. Whether it is through sports, clubs, or a job, he thinks that by excelling in those areas, then girls will see him in a greater light. When he doesn't perform or achieve his expectations, he feels invalidated and begins lacking a sense of fulfillment. To regain a sense of fulfillment after attempting to measure up in a number of other ways, he turns to what seems like a societally appropriate and praised coping mechanism such as watching pornography. He thinks to himself, “If only I had accomplished more, had a better personality, or had better looks, I would be better off.” Instead, he learns to fill the void with a sexualized view of humanity and love.

For both the little girl and little boy, they both desired fulfillment, leading to different extremes; lost in identity and seeking any means necessary to be satisfied. They both crave affirmation and at the end of the day are seeking to be loved and cherished. It doesn’t help either one of them that society tends to promote this sexualized view of living in a number of different means, all stemming from The Fall and the Sexual Revolution.

The Sexual Revolution is often mistaken for being something primarily brought about in the 1960’s and 1970’s as a push for contraception and greater women’s rights. However, the reality is that it roots back much further and has been festering for centuries upon centuries. At its core, it is an issue of human desire for fulfillment. As Crossway clearly explains it, “The sexual revolution rests on the idea that fulfillment is a matter of personal, psychological happiness and anything which obstructs that—specifically traditional sexual codes—is by definition oppressive and preventing us from flourishing” (Trueman). In other words, advocates believe that they should be able to express themselves sexually in whatever manner they see fit without any consequence or obstruction. This concept has permeated Western thinking and morals. It is not only harmful to one’s thoughts and development but also in the way that people interact and treat one another.

The Sexual Revolution dates back even as far as the Roman Empire (Deyoung). Despite the Roman Empire being much closer to the time of Jesus, immorality still reigned then in the same way that it reigns now. Same sex relations and pederasty were acceptable and only cast down upon if those involved held a low social standing. Slaves and young boys were oftentimes used to satisfy the desires of those who held greater power (Deyoung). Kyle Harper, the author of From Shame to Sin: The Christian Transformation of Sexual Morality in Late Antiquity, explains where it stood in the realm of the Christian Empire. He explains that from Paul forward, Christian sexual morality collapsed all of what the rest of society would have just called the things of “nature,” calling it out for what it is: immorality. Astonishingly, against all odds, as The Gospel Coalition puts it, “The Christian sexual revolution became codified in law under the reign of Justinian. Sex between males was a crime, and pederasty was outlawed. Christian laws under Justinian also vigorously opposed coerced prostitution” (Deyoung). This was a huge win for the Christian understanding of God’s intent for sex under the bounds of marriage between one man and one woman.

Unfortunately, the sinful and corrupt nature of man did not stop there when it came to the sexualization of God’s children. In the Enlightenment period of the 18th Century, with the ideas surrounding expressing one’s self, liberty, pursuit of happiness, and a myriad of other things, the Sexual Revolution resurfaced. This is due to the ongoing pressure for rebellion against God seen time and time again. It manifested through expressive individualism, and in a time of the Romantics in art, expressing immoral and countercultural desires was acceptable. Though man has continued to move further from God as time has gone on, the Sexual Revolution of the 1960’s and 1970’s is most commonly known. This period of the Sexual Revolution is most commonly associated with the push for women's rights through birth control contraception and inviting this new buzz revolving around women’s sexuality and seeking a level of sexual equality that had not yet been met. The goal was to break down barriers of inequality for women, yet those involved went to an extreme and confused equality with unrestrained freedom which became abused. This push for feminism is what ultimately metastasized into today's sexual state where anyone can love anything in any way and put it on display. It is an extremely corrupt view of what love is, completely diverging from what God intended for love, sexual relations, and the boundaries in which they should live.

The Bible’s definition of love and sexuality is so far from the misconception that culture has made it to be. God created all types of love from brotherly love to parental love to intimate love. This intimate love was given to us through Adam and Eve. God made it clear that it is necessary for humans to live in community and therefore gave Eve to Adam. Although sin came as a result of the fall, man and woman being tied together through the union of marriage under God’s design is a good thing. Although not everyone is called or brought into marriage, those who are have a specific duty and privilege. God calls those under marriage to be fruitful and multiply, although procreation is not the sole reason for marriage by any means. Marriage is a unity to become one flesh and be a demonstration of a man loving his wife the way Christ loves the church. This sexual union has limitations, however, to be between one man and one woman in marriage. The world has flipped that around, cut the truth in half and called it love, but it simply isn’t. Love and intimacy today are messy and broken, telling lies and degrading human relationships by putting value in a feeling rather than in God. The eyes of society are so fixated on lust and sexualization because people fail to recognize their value rooted in the image of God.

The sexualization that is present in the current age needs to be fought against, as it is fueling the sex trafficking and pornography industries, justifying objectification and sexual references in media, and causing damaging effects in the development of children in health and maturity. The perception of biblical love has been skewed as a result of mass sexualization and no longer revolves around what God intended. Therefore, we must work to combat the misinterpretation of love that culture has created. The aim for change is to recenter the cultural focus onto things of substance rather than giving into a hookup, emotionless, and love-devoid culture.

There is oftentimes a hush around the looming reality of sexual perversion, especially when it comes to pornography because it has been normalized. It can be easy to think or choose to assume that pornography addictions are rare, but unfortunately, it is the opposite case. Against common misinterpretation, pornography is a $97 billion-dollar industry (Brain Heart World). It is more commonly viewed than Netflix, Amazon, and Twitter combined. At its core it is the true pandemic sweeping the current age. Studies show that addiction to it is quite simple. The brain is manipulated by first, asking what stimulates the brain, second, creating an exaggerated version of something, and third, allowing the brain to begin preferring the exaggerated version (Brain Heart World). William Struthers adequately represents what it is doing to society. “Hijacking is a great way to put it because when you hijack something, you take it from going where it’s supposed to go and send it someplace else. A neurological system that is designed to go to a place where two people are bound to one another, you're now redirecting it so that their sexuality is binding them to something other than that relationship” (Brain Heart World).The neurological dilemma is that people oftentimes get addicted to pornography because it seems enchanting and withdrawn from the stressful and frustrating things of life. It takes the humanity out of relationships and expects perfection, leading to greater issues.

People can tend to think that pornography is harmless and won’t correlate to relationships, but that is far from the truth. It teaches that it’s normal to have several partners because within the depiction of intercourse it disconnects any emotion and is driven by lust (Brain Heart World). Porn tells its audience that intimacy equals violence and that being violent during sex is appropriate or condoned if it brings about a sense of pleasure (Brain Heart World).

People often wonder why the statistics of sexual assault are so high, and it is exactly this. Sense of satisfaction has dramatically decreased in the quality of relationships. Porn abusers have been so conditioned to an exaggerated sexual experience that being with someone who doesn't meet the same satisfaction as a screen is no longer “enough,” thus resulting in harm.

Porn cares about body parts, not personal connection. Porn isn't about relationships. It's about instant gratification. It's about self-focus (Brain Heart World). In watching porn you are getting a distorted view of what it means to be human and what it means to love. When porn is Googled, people get catapulted into a world of sexual violence, manipulation, degradation, and dehumanization (Brain Heart World). It has a terrible impact on how people think about sexuality, intimacy, and connection. The effects the porn industry has on sexualization and pain go far beyond the mental toll. Porn tells the same story time and time again. You have no morality, you have no capacity for intimacy, you don't want connection, and women are disposable sex objects (Brain Heart World).

Because a devalued view of humans is presented in pornography, it has a direct correlation to sex trafficking and domestic violence, something especially under wraps in the world of Hollywood. If someone is a regular consumer of pornography, their risk of becoming abusive increases by about one-third (Brain Heart World). Pornography is prostitution on screen. Sex trafficking is a $99 billion-a-year industry (Brain Heart World). There are four and a half million victims around the world, half of whom are children (Brain Heart World). When people watch pornography, they are likely to be contributing to the sex trafficking industry and supporting women and children especially being harmed. There are so many stories out there of those kidnapped or coerced into sex trafficking because they got involved with people who put an oversexualized and manipulated view of humanity into their minds.

To illustrate the mass sexualization present in the sex trafficking world, the novel Redeeming Love by Francene Rivers comes to mind. Inspired by the book of Hosea in the Bible, the story is set in the 1850s California Gold Rush. It follows the story of a young girl named Sarah who was the result of an adulterous affair. Her father wanted her aborted, and she lived alone with her mother. All she wanted at the beginning of the book was for her father to love her. Her maid Cleo takes her to a brothel one day, and Cleo tells Sarah, a young and impressionable child, that men only care about sex. Sarah and her mother move to New York where her mother is a prostitute. Sarah’s mother dies, and Sarah is sold to a pedophile who rapes Sarah and renames her Angel.

Eventually, she escapes from him, but due to unforeseen circumstances can only make a living through prostitution. She becomes the town’s most expensive prostitute, until one day a man hears a calling from the Lord to rescue her from her bondage and marry her. He pursues her, and eventually she halfheartedly agrees to marry him. Never having experienced this kind of care, she continues to leave the marriage after seeing herself as unworthy. However, no matter how many times Sarah runs away, Michael always goes back and rescues her. Ashamed of telling him about her past, she tries to keep a tough exterior, but eventually he gets through, showing her that she is worthy of love rather than lust. He helps her heal from her past, and they begin a family of four miracle babies.

Redeeming Love is a story of redemption and a story that even in sexual sin, the Lord still calls us His and pursues us wholeheartedly. No matter how far we run or how many times we fall, man can be redeemed. This sacrificial love is what true love is all about, and there are so many relationships depicted in this book that are filthy, but that of Sarah and Michael is pure. This is a literary depiction of what love should be: a reckless, sacrificial, ever-chasing love that is pure and beautiful. The story explores the damaging effects of sex trafficking and an oversexualized world as it relates to God’s greater design.

Not only is mass sexualization fueling the sex trafficking and pornography industry, but it is also contributing to the objectification of humankind. Objectification is something that is relevant to both men and women, primarily women. In the words of the Oxford Languages dictionary, to objectify is defined as “the action of degrading someone to the status of a mere object.” When this is examined, it comes down to seeing human beings as of lesser value based on their image rather than their true dignified worth. Sexualizing media content has been criticized for many reasons. Exposure to sexualizing media has been related to gender stereotypes, acceptance of rape myths, and increased body dissatisfaction (Karsay). People have become so desensitized to this reality. Men are oftentimes objectified in comparison of body “structure” as in muscle, height, etc. As for women, it is linked to attractiveness in both beauty standards and figure shape (Karsay). Boys and girls can also oftentimes be objectified because they are compared to an older or more developed view of how they “should be.” Media is a large contributor to sexualization whether it be through television, jokes, music, video games, or social media. In order to understand the detriment of these contributors, they must be examined for their harm.

Oftentimes in movies, women can be oversexualized for their bodies and appearance even starting at something as harmless as superhero films. For example, in the Marvel movies, Scarlett Johanson who plays Black Widow is in sleek and revealing leather clothing (Usselmann). In Suicide Squad, Margot Robbie as Harley Quinn is depicted in a sexualized manner as well (Usselmann). Go to something even more simple such as The Little Mermaid. Ariel wears something that is revealing, and while it is unknown the true intent behind it, it teaches girls that showing as much skin as possible is somehow acceptable or even praised. Disney has conditioned young girls into believing they must look a certain way to find a prince charming (Zeven). In all of these movies, women are displayed to be merely of value for looking at their bodies and acting in a certain way that is appealing to the audience. This is extremely detrimental and has contributed significantly to a culture prone toward sinfulness. The solution isn’t simple, but as Fuller Studios put it so wonderfully, “The more fully human beings live the sense of their dignity and worth, the more they grow in truth, freedom, and love, the more they will respect themselves, their bodies and other human beings, seeing them not as objects of pleasure to be used, but as unique and beautiful gifts of the Creator” (Zeven).

Another common way for objectification to take place is through music. In the world of rap, degrading comments are constantly made no matter what the topic is. A common tale in those songs is that women are disposable sex objects used for pleasure. Both men and women rappers give into this mindset. Not only are the song lyrics too explicit to even be mentioned but also the album covers. They so often contain nudity or are uncensored and meant to catch your eye toward sexual things. Music is the universal language that unites mankind. It has a psychological effect on us that brings joy, peace, and inclusivity. With the messages now being produced through music, the same effect occurs far less frequently. Instead what God intended for good has been convoluted. In Psalm 96, it says, “Sing to the Lord a new song; sing to the Lord, all the earth. Sing to the Lord, praise his name; proclaim his salvation day after day. Declare his glory among the nations, his marvelous deeds among all peoples” (English Standard Version). We are designed by our Creator to worship through music, and when society makes music about inappropriate things, it diminishes God’s design.

Another way that people can be oversexualized through media is in humor and entertainment. First, while everyone loves The Office for it’s carefree comedy, “that’s what she said jokes” can oftentimes cross the line into over-sexualization. Something that seems so harmless can quickly become one of the leading problems of sexualization. Children are especially impressionable, and without realizing it, they can quickly gain a distorted view of man through what they think is just light-hearted humor. Jokes of objectification can also come in forms such as, “Women are nothing but cooks and dishwashers.” While these can be meant in a harmless way, they can quickly change direction. Media can also be sexualized through video games. In games such as Grand Theft Auto, they depict women, even as animated, in skimpy and inappropriate clothing. This not only adds nothing to the game but brings an unnecessary element to a car racing game.

The final way that media and objectification go hand in hand is through social media and modesty standards. Social media, while having a number of good qualities such as capturing life and keeping up with loved ones, can oftentimes only breed insecurity. With the presence of the sexual Revolution and people wanting to express themselves through their bodies, the cycle of comparison is put on blast continually. It may be something harmless in the eyes of the one posting the image, but this can create a standard of unhealthy comparison. Take a spring break post for instance from two different perspectives. As the one posting it, it could be used to document the trip by the beach while you’re making sandcastles with your family in a bathing suit. You post it on social media and notice you’re receiving more likes and comments than normal. You begin to question if the reason for the attention is because of your body and begin seeking fulfillment in that way. From the other perspective, you are someone who did not go anywhere for vacation. You are scrolling on social media and you see someone who is tan, has a nice figure, and receives a lot of attention. You begin to question your self worth, pointing out insecurities with yourself. This is one example of many that reveals the way that social media can bring out an oversexualized view of self and others. While this is not always the case, and deciding to post for vacation has absolutely no harm, when the intent behind it shifts to wanting to model and show off oneself, it becomes detrimental to a purity-devoid culture.

The body and figure focus has really caused greater issues than we could imagine. There is such an idolized body structure for both men and women, and when that is not met, people feel as though they are of lesser value and need to work out or eat less in order to meet the “perfect” body type. People can tend to believe that if their bodies appeal in a certain way that they will then gain more satisfaction in intimate ways, but as Believers, we know that our bodies are temples designed by God. Clothing plays a big role in this body satisfaction versus dissatisfaction idea. Throughout history, fashion has changed immensely, especially for women. In the Roaring Twenties, flappers were a scandalous statement. Now with each decade, people have become more and more comfortable testing the waters and revealing more skin. A number of these have been extremely reasonable as being able to wear t-shirts rather than only dresses, but shirts and shorts now are becoming harder to find at full length rather than cropped. At this point it is hard to know what is harmless and what is not. As image bearers of God, He calls us to strive for modesty. While it can be easy to go with the trends in all of these standpoints, it is more valuable to protect yourself and others from stumbling. 1 Peter 3:3-4 explains it. “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight” (English Standard Version). The beauty of a soul following after Jesus is far more valuable than following along with fashion for the sake of feeling worthy or validated.

The final reason that an oversexualized society must be fought against is that it is harming relationships and children, both in lack of maturity and in emotional and physical development. In the book The Sexual State by Jennifer Roback Moore, she outlines the harm of not having a Godly relationship to look up to, and how it has created a sexualized world. Relationships are increasingly broken with divorce rates being at an all-time high. The current divorce rate is between 40% and 50%, and that number is only increasing (Stevenson). As a result, children are seeing a skewed view of love, and a hookup or short-term relationship cycle is being displayed.

It’s often easy to brush off the fact that divorce and broken relationships don’t mean much to developing children, but this is far from the case. Picture you are a young child with a single mom. Just as you get to know a man that she is interested in, he suddenly leaves your life. You begin to wonder if the norm is to have different partners regularly. Not only does the child form this as fact while getting older, but oftentimes can also have other issues that result, shown through behavioral problems. Kids who suffer trauma and feel unloved at home tend to bully kids at school, slow down on eating habits, and wet their beds at night (Moore). The concern within this is that adolescence and immaturity will continue to manifest in the child as a coping mechanism, trying to preserve any ounce of pure childhood that they can.

There are several accounts of people, both adults and children being affected by broken marriages. For example, the Dad who loses the ability to see his kids thinks, “I know real men aren’t supposed to cry but...” (Moore). Or the little girl who tells her dad, “I don’t like seeing mommy in bed with other men” (Moore). Both are resulting from the Sexual Revolution. As the children grow older or the adults begin to cope with their reality, more intensified things begin to present themselves. For example, the teenage girl who can’t figure out why hookups and birth control aren’t solving her depression or giving her a sense of fulfillment anymore, or the man who was addicted to pornography, lost interest in his wife and their child, files for divorce, and moves in with another woman (Moore). The thing that these all hold in common is a sexualized and broken view of what marriage and a true relationship should be. There is an entitlement issue in American society that tells people that they deserve fun and freedom rather than a bond and babies (Moore). There are three main ideas that go along with the Sexual Revolution: sex is separate from childbearing, sex and childbearing are separate from marriage, and men and women have hardly any distinction from one another (Moore).

Within these ideas, different narratives present themselves. The feminist narrative focuses on the idea that anyone can leave a relationship at any time for any reason without any problem (Moore). The liberationist narrative says there is complete freedom to do whatever you please without any societal backlash (Moore). You have no obligation to take care of a baby you don’t want as long as you end its life before giving birth (Moore). Less limitation when it comes to sexual activity results in more children lacking both parental figures. As Jennifer Roback Moore says, “[Children who have been separated from a parent have a much greater] likelihood of poverty, physical illness, mental illness, poor school performance, and crime.” The family unit is important. Sex is connected to childbearing. Children do need both parents. Men and women do have distinction and both impact society in the way they are created.

The sooner society understands they shouldn’t leave a relationship at the first inconvenience the more the family unit survives, the child thrives, and the less sexualized our lives. Men and women equal in value does not mean equal in role (McDowell). They must both come together in unity to raise up children in a Christ-centered way. The role of a parent is to train children up to love the Lord, protect and provide for them in every means, and teach where their value comes from, instilling love and discipline throughout. Raising up children to love the Lord must include a community of people who want to teach and pour into the children. When committing to the order of relationships that Jesus intends, things go much more smoothly.

It is hard to hear all of this and not feel overwhelmed by all of the oversexualized things that have crept into society over time. It is hard to know what action would look like and how a small group of people can make a dent. However, it is absolutely possible. The root of the problem is summarized well by Saint Theresa of Calcutta, an Albanian Nun known for contributing greatly to charity. She said, “The greatest disease in the West today is not TB or leprosy; it is being unwanted, unloved, and uncared for. We can cure physical diseases with medicine, but the only cure for loneliness, despair, and hopelessness is love. There are many in the world who are dying for a piece of bread, but there are many more dying for a little love” (Moore). She speaks on the issue of love to point out that people are so desperate to feel cherished that they often can jump to serious extremes to feel worthy. She goes on, “The poverty in the West is a different kind of poverty– it is not only a poverty of loneliness but also of spirituality. There is a hunger for love as there is a hunger for God” (Moore). It comes down to people not knowing that they have value and that their bodies hold intrinsic worth given by the Lord in His image. People get caught up in their desires and think it is the only source of fulfillment out there, but this is far from true. The lack of Godliness and spirituality cause much greater insecurity and questioning when it comes to identity.

God’s intent for love is pure, not sexual. It is not dependent on romance but rather based on a connection with the Lord that cannot be replicated. In C.S. Lewis’ The Four Loves, He looks at the different types of love that God designed. First, he looks at storge also known as affection. Storge is affection or fondness toward someone because of familiarity with them. Second is philia, also known as friendship love. In philia, we are united with those who are like-minded. It must be nurtured. Next is eros or romantic love. This goes beyond all things sexual to look at how God loves us in an intimate and beloved way and the way humans reflect that in a romantic relationship, particularly marriage. The last type is agape or charity love. This is proof of the love of the Lord working in and through us. All of these are different and yet play a particular role in what it means to love correctly. Looking particularly at eros, it helps to define romantic love as more than just mere physical contact. It is a connection with the Lord and through that, loving another man or woman in an honorable manner.

This is not an easy thing to come to understand. It takes a denial of the flesh to reject the sin that this world so rapidly clings to. In the passage of 1 John 2:15-17, it talks about being in the world but not of the world. Rivalry speaks to the issue of loyalty. There are many rivalries from IU to Purdue, Marvel to DC, or Coke to Pepsi. However, perhaps the largest rivalry in all of scripture is the one between the things of God and the things of earth (A Response to Rivalry). There is a way of thinking and valuing that is opposite of God, and John is saying do not put your affections or let your allegiance be dominated by or toward the worldly system opposite of God (A Response to Rivalry).

There are three desires that man commonly wrestles with that John points out: the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life. When we think of the word lust, we immediately gravitate toward it being about sex. There are desires of the flesh that can be good. It only goes south when the desire abuses the desire God has and makes it paramount above Him. This does not rule out good things, but it can’t rule out God’s things. As far as the lust of the eyes, the eyes are the windows of the soul. Eyes are a good thing and can easily be taken for granted. The important thing is not prioritizing the eyes over the giver of the eyes.

Joshua 7 is a strong example of these three desires coming together through man's sinful nature. God said that the people may not take anything out of Jericho and Achan, an Israelite, went in and took clothes and hid them by burying them underneath his tent. It cost him his life and his people's lives. Scripture records that he saw, he coveted in his heart, and he took. The point of this is that you are not going to find the taking without the coveting, and you won’t find the coveting without the seeing. The lust of the eyes is connected to the lust of the flesh. To bring it all back, take pornography for example. Why is it so common? The answer is that the lust of the eyes is attached to the lust of the flesh, causing people to act on desires that they consume through their eyes (A Response to Rivalry). Because of this, we must daily choose to not lay up our treasures on earth but rather in Heaven. It is worth something eternal. We must disassociate from the evil of the world while not condemning the people enough to say we want nothing to do with them. We must love the people in the world while denying our flesh.

How does this connect to an oversexualized world? It shows that this is a desire of the flesh and the eyes that we are actively fighting against. We as believers have the opportunity to take action steps toward the oversexualized society we live in. It may be donating or sponsoring an organization that fights against pornography and sex trafficking. It could be getting involved in meaningful conversations that go against the ideology of our modern world. It may look like not watching a TV show or following along in fashion trends to look different from what society praises. Whatever practical step works best for each individual, it starts out by getting in the war of the flesh and waging against desires.

It is a heartbreaking reality that pornography, subjective media, objectification and broken relationships exist, but sadly the curse of sin has broken this world. Luckily, we have hope from a loving God who fights on our behalf to help combat the body focus that the world seems to have.

To the little girl in the baby blue princess dress: know where your worth comes from. Know that whether your Prince Charming comes or whether or not you have a father figure to show you what a man should be, you have a father in Heaven who loves you more than any earthly father figure could. Don’t conform or seek fulfillment in the ways of the world. You have value outside of your body.

To the little boy playing the knight in shining armor: feel confident in who God made you to be. Deny the desires of the flesh that culture thinks are normal and honorable. Despite any urges you feel, you will find much greater satisfaction being found in the Lord. He knows what is best for you.

The Fall of Man and the Sexual Revolution have blinded us to how sexualized the world has become. It is time to change the misinterpretation of love. Love is not a hookup. Love is not emotionless, yet it doesn’t run by emotions either. Love is not self-gratifying. Love is not temporary. Love is not conditional. Love is not lust. Love is not self-seeking. Rather, love is self-sacrificing. Love is permanent. Love is unconditional. Love rejoices in truth. Love always protects, trusts, hopes, and preserves all things. Love is a choice. A choice to surrender. A choice to lay everything at the feet of the One who loved first through perfect sacrifice. We have a choice to deny the things of this world and live for a God who can fill our thoughts and minds with the hope of Heaven. We have been designed to love uniquely, and that starts with denying the desires of the flesh and rejecting the sexualized broken world we live in. We must surrender the bondage of sin and look to the sacrifice of the Savior that says to our brokenness and shame, “It is finished.”

 

Bibliography

“A Response to Rivalry.” In the Light from Spotify, 6 Nov 2022, open.spotify.com/episode/ 1RhUVMyyRENtOTHL2DfnCK?si=6e33d3c5a9d6481d.

Brain Heart World. Fight the New Drug, 2022.

“Confident in the Contrast.” In the Light from Spotify, 27 Nov 2022 open.spotify.com/episode/ 5Hrh3taYGfMGyNqkTiRN2Y?si=b21d4298d50f458a.

Deyoung, Kevin. “The First Sexual Revolution: The Triumph of Christian Morality in the Roman Empire.” The Gospel Coalition, https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/ blogs/kevin-deyoung/first-sexual-revolution-triumph-christian-morality-roman-empire.

Huie, Eliza. Raising Kids in a Hyper-Sexualized World. 10Publishing, 24 Feb. 2017.

Karsay, Kathrin, Johannes Knoll and Jörg Matthes. “Sexualizing Media Use and Self-Objectification.” Psychology of Women Quarterly, vol. 42, no. 1, 2017, pp. 9-28.

Lewis, C.S. The Four Loves. HarperCollins Publishers, 1960.

McCallum, Dennis. “Comparing Biblical and Modern Love.” Dwell Community Church, dwellcc.org/learning/essays/comparing-biblical-and-modern-love.

McDowell, Sean. Chasing Love: Sex, Love, and Relationships in a Confused Culture. B&H Publishing, 1 Dec 2020.

Moore, Jennifer Roback. The Sexual State: How Elite Ideologies Are Destroying Lives and Why

the Church Was Right All Along. 23 Aug 2018.

Onimhawo, J.A., and O.O. Ottuh, “The Church and Sex Education,” Religious Education Project, 18 Feb 2021, www.researchgate.net/publication/349379855_The_Church_and _Sex_Education, Accessed 27 Nov 2022.

Rivers, Francene. Redeeming Love. Multnomah Books. 1991.

Stevenson, Betsey, and Justin Wolfers. “Marriage and Divorce: Changes and their Driving Forces.” National Bureau of Economic Research, March 2007, www.nber.org/system/files/working_papers /w12944/w12944.pdf.

The Bible. English Standard Version, Good News Publishers, 2016.

“The Sexual State.” Think Biblically: Conversations on Faith and Culture from Spotify, Aug. 2019, open.spotify.com/episode/36xzqseCnOpLESk8sOXWCp?si=4252b27d584b4300.

Trueman, Carl R. “10 Things You Should Know about the Sexual Revolution.” Crossway, www.crossway.org/articles/10-things-you-should-know-about-the-sexual-revolution.

Usselmann, Nancy. “A Sacred Look: A Theology for an over-Sexualized Visual Culture.” Fuller Studio, 26 Jan. 2021, fullerstudio.fuller.edu/a-sacred-look-a-theology-for-an-over- sexualized-visual-culture.

Vedantam, Shankar. “Researchers Explore Pornography's Effect On Long-Term Relationships.” NPR, 9 Oct 2017, www.npr.org/2017/10/09/556606108/research-explores-the-effect- pornography-has-on-long-term-relationships.

“What Are the Effects of Divorce on Children?” FamilyMeans, www.familymeans.org/effects-of-divorce-on-children.html.

Wilson, Todd A. Mere Sexuality. Zondervan, 3 Oct. 2017.

Wolfinger, Nicholas H. “Counterintuitive Trends in the Link Between Premarital Sex and Marital Stability.” Institute for Family Studies, 6 June 2016, ifstudies.org/blog/ counterintuitive-trends -in-the-link-between-premarital-sex-and-marital-stability.

Zeven, Jennifer. “Disney’s Sexualised Stereotypes From Snow White to Frozen.” 11 Sept 2019. jenniferzevenwriter.medium.com/disney-stereotypes-and-sexualisation-from-snow-white- to-frozen-82cdc9b5d4b9.