Our Truth…Satan’s Lie

You are enough. You are perfect just the way you are, don’t listen to anybody else. These are all phrases we hear everyday. By now, they sound like nothing more than an encouragement to people who are going through a tough time, or to build someone’s self-esteem (Mary’s Cup of Tea). On the surface, those words don’t sound untruthful, in fact, its intention is to be a light in the face of darkness. The problem with it is that it gives the illusion that humanity is in control; human nature tries to save the people who are drowning in self-doubt. Self-love sounds like the perfect solution to this age old curse. Just don’t feel sad. Think positively. You write your own story. Unfortunately, this does not help the people who are already lost by trying to do things their way. Worldly self-love is about what you can do for yourself to feel less lonely. Biblical self-love is about loving everyone the way Jesus loves and because of that, every other aspect of your life will be filled with ever-lasting joy.

Worldly self-love actually derives from biblical self-love. Whether we realize it or not, we wouldn’t have any definition of self-love if it weren’t for the Bible. The Bible states clearly in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, “Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It is not irritable and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance” (NLT). It is a more well-known verse but that doesn’t take anything away from its importance. A light needs to be shown on this truth so that more people understand that. This isn’t a moment to shame others, but to encourage them. There is hope in the midst of desperation. No one should have to carry the burden of their sin anymore because of the life we have in Jesus. He took up the punishment reserved for humanity and conquered death. When we believe in the world’s definition of love and self this is a weight we believe we must carry on our own. We believe we must carry alone if we believe in the world’s definition of love and the self. The lies of society sound completely reasonable and there is no shame in admitting that this may be the first time those lies were challenged. As humans, we have the desire to put our needs first, and do whatever it takes to keep ourselves happy. We have to push past all of our instincts, and do what is best for others. God tells us that we should make serving others our instincts, and then we will reap the joys that follow. What will ultimately fill us up is serving God’s people.

The self-love movement dates back to the 1960s Hippie era, with postmodern thought, philosophy, skepticism, relativism, and subjectivism. The facts were subjective rather than objective. It was most likely a reaction to the Vietnam War when the Hippie generation decided to spread peace and love. That’s where we get the phrases “love yourselves more” and “stop world hate.” “A 2021 article in the Humanistic Psychologist attempted to break down the idea of self-love, finding three themes: self-contact- defined as giving attention to oneself[;] self-acceptance- defined as being at peace with oneself[;] and self-care- defined as being protective of and caring for oneself (Toxic Self-Love).” According to Jeffrey Borenstein, who is the president of the Brain and Behavior Research Foundation, self-love is: “a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological and spiritual growth. Self-love means having a high regard for your own well-being and happiness. Self-love means taking care of your own needs and not sacrificing your well-being to please others. Self-love means not settling for less than you deserve.”

What does the phrase, “You are enough,” actually relay to others? To truly answer this question, a different perspective has to be uncovered. Since everyone wants to be the hero of their own story, that mindset makes you the failure when things don’t turn out the way you intend. The reason society is pushing this ideology so much is because everyone wants to be the hero of their own story. This idea makes us believe we’re failures because of our own standards. If bad things happen, you didn’t work hard enough to prevent them. If you didn’t get into that college you wanted so badly, you didn’t do enough to get accepted. If you see someone that you love struggling in a season of hardships, you weren’t helpful enough to get them out of that. The list could go on. You are not enough. There will always be solutions that you can’t provide. “The culture of self-love tells us that we are enough. And that until we love ourselves into seeing our enough-ness, nothing in our lives will be right” (Stuckey). It is not about how hard you work that will all the sudden get you out of difficult things.

Christ died for us because He knew we weren’t enough. All of those things will still happen because struggle is inevitable, but Jesus tells us that we do not need to be afraid. By dying on the cross for us, He made a promise of hope. Never will we have to try and be our own savior. We have Christ living in us, but we are not Christ himself. Christians have power in the name of Jesus, not by working as hard as we can to eventually burn ourselves out. Jesus gives life and with that, the ability to work through the inevitable struggles in life.

In the book, You’re Not Enough, and that’s Okay, Allie Stuckey says, “As of 2018, Americans under forty are more depressed, anxious, lonely, and suicidal than any other generation before us…[there are] stronger feelings of purposelessness” (“‘Nones’ Don’t Identify with Religion”). Saying/hearing daily, “you are enough” is dangerous because it promotes the mindset that your value is up to what you can do; it’s about capacity and what you are capable of doing. This generation has fallen so far into this idea that they matter the most; that what they are looking for is somehow inside them already and they just need to unlock it. A 2019 NBC/ Wall Street Journal study from the same year found that young Americans are far less likely than older generations to care about faith, family, and patriotism (Stuckey). Maybe we’re unfulfilled, lonely, and purposeless because we love ourselves way too much. “If our problem is that we’re insecure and unfulfilled, we’re not going to be able to find the antidote to these things in the same place our insecurities and fear come from” (9).The problem can’t also be the solution.

The world says that self-worth comes from making ourselves happy. It is not a sin to want a happy life for yourself. In fact, God wants that for you too. According to Brittanica, the definition of a “happy life is being in a positive emotional state”(Britannica). No matter one's circumstances, to lead a truly happy life, one must be selfless. Human nature goes against this concept. Human nature tells us, “Live your own life. Don’t let anyone stop you from being the best version of yourself.” We are selfish people. We want all of this, however, it all sounds so empty. As humans, we hate to feel sad or lonely. We would rather not sit in our emotions if we don’t have to because it can be uncomfortable; humans hate to feel uncomfortable. It’s always from an inward lens. How can we keep ourselves happy first, and then maybe it can trickle down to others later? The focus is so much on temporary joy to distract from the disappointments in everyday life. When society thinks of self-love, it usually involves going out and doing something that is tangible. No one wants to feel uncomfortable so they go out and buy something; it could be a book, a movie, clothes, or self-care items like face masks; anything to get out of this uncomfortable state.

There is this idea that the world has that, on the surface, doesn’t sound like an issue at all. It’s this idea that we must love ourselves first; we can’t let others cross our boundaries. We are to be a light that shines in the darkness. We are called to be the salt of the earth. Our purpose on earth is to bring God’s people back to him. He does his work through his disciples; the ones who are willing to take up their cross everyday to follow him. Often, we are told to romance our life and only think about how to benefit ourselves the most, but God has so much more for us. We should want to romance God. 2 Corinthians 11 tells us that we are the bride of Christ. God is jealous for us. The God of the universe seeks after us. Each individual is made in His image.

God seeks after all of us as individuals. He wants to know us deeply. As humans, we have a strong desire for this idea that no matter how hard we try, the world just can’t give. That longing for a life led with no regret and overwhelming joy even in the midst of suffering, that is the Holy Spirit; that is God calling after us. God will fill you up in a way the world will never understand. It works better than putting up walls with people. “You just need to love yourself’ or “Just be confident” or “Stay positive” are all putting human nature into the driver’s seat of our lives.

There are three different lenses with which humans can see themselves in. The first one is through a physical lens. God loves you, he wants to see you taking care of yourself. It says in 1 Corinthians 6:19-20, “Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor him with your body (NLT).” The second one is from a mental lens. 2 Corinthians 4:5 says, “You see, we don’t go around preaching about ourselves. We preach that Jesus Christ is Lord, and we ourselves are your servants for Jesus’ sake.” Shortly after that verse, verse nine says, “We now have this light shining in our own hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves.” The third and final lens that humans see themselves in is psychological. This is how you treat yourself. In 1 Thessalonians 2, Paul talks about how, as the church, Christians are to treat others as Christ treats his children. This will eventually translate into people treating themselves as Christ loved the church. If we are surrounded by Christ-followers who speak life into others, they will absorb that and want to spread it further.

Self-love is important, but why? Many people will answer that question where the bottom line will be because it feels good. To love yourself first is to put all your needs, wants, and otherwise on a pedestal so no one can come close to you. Boundaries are crucial in every relationship, romantic or not. Don’t be taken advantage of, but as Christians, we are called to be accessible to others. Jesus never conformed to the world’s ideas of him, instead, he listened and loved those around him; no strings attached.

Another lie we hear is to follow our heart. Our hearts can be corrupted, twisted, or emotionally overwhelmed. That doesn’t sound very trustworthy. Solomon tells us in Proverbs 3:5-6, that our hearts are wicked; that they are deceitful. They will lie to us and twist our reality. Our relationships begin to prosper when hearts are already filled with God’s Word. If we let him guide us, there will be no more confusion. He will make our path straight. God’s love and approval of us is enough. The fact that we are all sinners should be accepted, however don’t let that leave you there.

Being a born-sinner is no excuse to let it define who you are. God has already freed us of even our most evil thoughts, but we must put in the work to rebuke it in His name. We must love others unconditionally because Jesus died for a purpose. To put yourself above God knowing His sacrifice for the world is disrespectful. Jesus loved without a second thought; That is what Christians are expected to do. Self-love becomes natural as we learn to love unconditionally.

Many people like to say, “Love yourself first because that’s who you’ll be spending the rest of your life with” (Cummings). This is a lie; After death on earth, either there is eternal life with God or eternal life suffering apart from God. Because of God’s goodness, humanity gets to choose which life we end up with. Whichever life we choose, we will never be alone. You can’t live for yourself and choose God at the same time. Living for yourself will not please God. He created us to need Him; to be the only one that is sufficient for us. God will provide the peace and joy that we seek time after time, but if that wasn’t reciprocated before death on earth, we will spend eternity burning in the blazing fire of Hell.

Parts of what psychology offers is just a twist of what the Bible says. Many Christians want to believe these seemingly harmless phrases such as, “you just need to learn to love yourself first “ or “just act confident, don’t let other people see you struggle” or “you need to stay positive” (Toxic Self-Love). All of these phrases sound helpful, and at first glance, there is nothing wrong with them; this is untrue. The expectation the Bible has for us is that we already love ourselves. In fact, it is in our nature to act out of our own self-interests. Mark 12:30-31 states, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these” (NIV).  God isn’t saying, “If you hate yourself, hate your neighbor.” To love yourself is already assumed. It is human nature to think of oneself. Nowhere in the Bible does it tell us to love ourselves because we already know how to do that. Self-help books focus more on the self and how to get yourself out of a dark place mentally or physically rather than how to stay calm when you can’t control your hardships. As humans, we can’t be the solution to our own problem. To answer the question of what we should really be doing, we must first understand why these little phrases bring so much comfort.

Is following our heart actually the way to leading a happy life? No, because our hearts are deceitful (Prov. 3:5). The word “toxic” is thrown around so much now that it is hard to remember what is truly toxicity. “Avoiding conflict is not showing self-love. Alice Mills Mai, a licensed mental health counselor and owner of Centering Wholeness Counseling, said self-love should never be used “as an excuse to avoid conflict, avoid being vulnerable, or disrespect other people’s boundaries and autonomy.” Conflict is a healthy part of any relationship, according to Mai, and can help you grow” (Toxic Behavior in Disguise). A self-help book would tell you to put up all these walls up against people who you disagree with; the people who don’t fit into the perfect plan you have for your life. Unfortunately, nothing will go as planned because only God knows what will happen in the future. God sees things we don’t and He will place or remove obstacles or people in our lives to grow us; to grow our faith. Many people will reject God when his plan isn’t fitting into our self-help book. In You’re Not Enough and That’s Okay, the author talks a lot about this saying, “This is how the god of self demands to be worshipped. It throws us every surface-level and worldly piece of advice we think we crave to keep the fire of selfish desires burning.” These books and motivations are used in hopes that we don't go looking for something more, something bigger than ourselves.

We live our truth because we are scared of discovering and obeying what God has for us. Sometimes God’s truth is scarier than what we want therefore we live by what feels comfortable for us so we aren’t forced to grow.. #Selflove is one of the most popular hashtags on social media today. “The hashtag #self love has over thirty billion views on TikTok and, while not all of the content is toxic, it does stand to show the scale at which pseudo positive affirmations are influencing our way of thinking” (“Girlbossification of Mental Health”). This is how it gets misconstrued and people start taking it their own way. Being told that the way we feel is actually just a reflection of society’s norms doesn’t make us feel any better about ourselves; it’s an excuse to say that there is nothing that can be done about it, when in fact that is not true. Harriet Frew is an eating disorder therapist and a member of the British Association of Counseling and Psychotherapy (BACP)], and she explains that forcing self-loving thoughts, behaviors or feelings when you’re feeling kind of crap can actually be super harmful. As Frew puts it, toxic-self love can be reductive because ​“it glosses over deeper emotions and needs, and can also bring about a sense of isolation and disconnection from others.” When taken too far, the self-love movement is actually more harmful than helpful. It is confusing young boys and girls and allowing them to grow up and be adults who can’t handle conflict of any kind; it is teaching them to shut down instead of building problem-solving skills.

Whether we want to admit it or not, the content and the information we consume from social media, music, and movies will inevitably affect us in one way or another. We want to believe that we’re different, that it won’t affect us, but the reality is that it doesn’t matter who you are, we are all surrounded by things trying to convince us we all have this superpower within us that we just have to unlock. In the way it is being taught today, self-love is just a competitive chore. It’s all about who can look like they are most at peace with themselves. “Absorbing this content can result in the invalidation of emotions, creating a disconnection from others and feelings of failure,” says Dr. Frew. ​“This ultimately impacts mental health: low mood, increased anxiety, poor body image and low self-worth.” The world may think they are building up people to think for themselves and act independent of the world, when really, they are teaching them to be exactly like the world and teach the younger generation how best to fill the void that actually will never be fulfilled without Christ.

There are so many lies that we are told that sound believable but aren’t. A lot of the little motivational quotes we hear all the time, “You are enough” and “You don’t need anyone but yourself” are all derived from the Bible, but aren't rooted in Biblical values. We are enough with God alone. John 14:8 says, “Lord, show us the Father and that will be enough for us” (NIV). He is all we need.  God sent His perfect son to die for all of humanity because we aren’t enough; not on our own. God doesn’t owe us anything. We are only enough because of him. All of our willpower, self-control, humility, or biblical soundness will never be enough. We don’t want to improve ourselves for the simple fact that we don’t want to feel pain. We should want to improve ourselves because there is always something to work on and it’s a responsibility we have for ourselves.

Self-love in society today is synonymous with self-care; in today’s culture, self-care means drowning our feelings out with products that we can buy. If we feel lonely or sad, we watch movies or burn a candle, or go shopping. While this offers temporary gratification, we are left with less money, and only feel lonelier. This goes back to the idea that we can’t be the solution if we’re already the problem. Kelly Markey said it this way: “You can’t heal in the same environment that made you sick.” Self-love is more than a casual phrase that is thrown around; it means something more than how it is thought of today. Biblical self-love is achieved when all of the fruits of the spirit can be found in our lives. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, and self-control are all character traits that God tells us a faithful Christian should have. It will be uncomfortable, but it’s the only way to grow. If we are not pushed into uncomfortability, we will never become better or learn what our strengths and weaknesses are; and further, we will never be able to use those to give praise and glorify God.

What is wrong with the phrase, “Become the best version of yourself?” What does that mean? Is it true? We alone have no power to become the greatest version of ourselves. It makes no sense. We want to have the control; we want to be able to tell others to “take control of your life” when really, we have to surrender our lives. Imagine always having to bear the weight of things that are supernatural; not even supernatural but things that we cannot overcome by ourselves: for example, emotions. “Do not lean on your own understanding” is a huge encouragement to us because it means that we are never alone (Proverbs 3:5). We don’t have to worry about always getting it right and never making mistakes; there is a God who loves us and carries us when life gets to be suffocating.

In You’re Not Enough and that’s Okay, the author says, “The toxic self love culture is filled with empty platitudes that are handed out not because they are true but because they are profitable and clickable.” For example, the Enneagram- it’s not Biblical at all. The Enneagram is nine man-made personality traits that ultimately limit God’s authority as creator.  It puts every individual into one category and tells them what they could believe and how they should act because of it. It proves the limitations of mankind’s mind.

Reality is painful, but that means we have to look for the moments God has blessed us with carefully. God is all around us and if we are only looking and not really seeing, it is easily missed. “New Age Russian-Armenian philosopher George Gurdjieff believed that humans existed in a “waking sleep,” and that they can awaken the true, full self by learning the discipline of uniting body, mind, and spirit to achieve a higher consciousness. Gurdjieff and his pupils emphasized the importance of the self: self-actualization, self-betterment, and self-empowerment” (107). It’s like what C.S Lewis said, “Earth’s crammed in heaven, and every common bush afire with God; but only the one who sees it takes off his shoes. The rest sit around and pluck blackberries.” Not everyone is able to see God’s presence when they are busy trying to live their own life: sometimes we could miss it.

Vex King wrote a book called Good Vibes, Good Life: How Self-Love is the key to Unlocking your Greatness. While it is a well-written book that, on the surface, sounds like great advice to follow, but why are we taught to believe we don’t need anybody in life? He uses the phrase “manifest” in his book that refers to believing you have the power to make all your dreams come true. Sometimes bad things happen in our lives: we can’t just manifest them to get better because it is out of our hands, but we can pray. We have a God who is always listening and hates suffering. He allows suffering to find us because He wants us to have the opportunity to grow. Suffering unmasks the heart. Manifesting comes from the idea of being steadfast and disciplined. God has power and as Christians, our power comes from Him. Our hearts are filled with the Holy Spirit. From that point on, we have God in our corner. Struggle will come and go, but if we are on our own, the crushing weight of our sins will always become our identity.

Have you ever felt that overwhelming sense of peace that seemingly came out of nowhere? It makes no sense but it flows into every aspect of your life? That is the Holy Spirit. That peace comes when He is trying to work in us and He is helping to silence the world’s voice. He wants to show us that no matter your circumstances, ultimate joy is always offered in His name. In John 8:31-32, Jesus states, “You are truly my disciples if you remain faithful to my teachings. And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” “It seems that we only discover “our truth” doesn’t work when we have [strengthened] past our breaking point and onto a road of no return. We tell ourselves that our circumstances are the thing that is toxic so we have to “take back control,” the same control that we never had in the first place” (You’re not Enough)” The truth is that “our truth” is usually Satan’s lie.

In her book You’re Not Enough, and That’s Okay, the author quotes a very interesting point. She says, “Social justice” came about by left-leaning policies such as the redistribution of wealth, abortion, socialized healthcare, and unrestricted immigration policies. It has become both a list of causes to care about and a way to view the world. It's a modern determinant of virtue, and yet its foundation is subjective “truths,” not absolute truth” (83). The toxic culture of self love tells us that we are “enough” to determine our own truths, and as we’ve seen, that’s just not true.

Biblically there are [two] selves: the old self and the new self- the old self is enslaved by sin, lost, looking for love and satisfaction in all  the wrong places. The old self is totally depraved, hopeless, an enemy of God, and bound to destruction. This is who we are apart from Christ. The new self has been redeemed by Christ and is enslaved to goodness, free from the bonds of sin… the new self has been given a righteousness that’s not her own…(102).

Our new self is supposed to reflect Christ in every aspect of the new life that comes with that. We died to our old self and surrendered our old ways.

God has expectations for men and different expectations for women, for parents and children, for married couples and singles. We are called to glorify God in everything that we do, no matter what. Our “true selves” should align with what God expects of us, not what we think we should do in the moment to make ourselves feel better about something. It says in Colossians 3:17, “And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father.”  We want to do everything our way, but if we do that, we aren’t aligning with what God asks of us.

Eventually, we are able to predict what the self-help books are going to say. When we slip into a problem and the work to heal our bad habits starts to feel like we’ve hit a wall again, the books aren’t working anymore. Instead we have reached our limit of self help books. When approached right, self-care is a powerful evidence-based medicine for your mind. We use self-love practices to hide behind the scary fact that we are not content with the current state of our lives. “The American Psychiatric Association defines mental illness as “health conditions involving changes in emotion, thinking, or behavior (or a combination of these) … associated with distress and/or problems functioning in social, work, or family activities.” Just as physical health is an ongoing journey, mental health is not necessarily different. Most people wait until they have reached the end of their rope to acknowledge that they need help or need to change something” (The Self-Healing Mind).

‘Radical self care’ is a term coined by feminist icon Audre Lorde. She spoke of self-care and rest as a way to reclaim power in a world that is constantly stripping us of our freedom and sense of well-being. “Caring for myself is not indulgence, it is self preservation, and that is an act of political warfare… showing self-care as a defense against a hostile culture of marginalization and forced productivity.” Lorde developed the concept as a way to disrupt social norms. “Rest is something we need to survive. We should rest because we can, and because it brings us moments of calm in a chaotic world, not because it will increase our ability to produce more work and product.” Workplaces are guilty of this as much as schools and other areas in which we must exert this energy repeatedly. It is not healthy for us to do the same things over and over again with no rest or mental break. It is not irresponsible to need time away from these things. That in itself is not laziness; what is lazy is never going back to finish work that you have been tasked to complete.

Self care is really just making sure our health, safety, physiological, and relational needs are met. The rules of the relationship you have with yourself is no different than the rules for the relationships you have with other people. The ultimate question with self-care is, “have your fundamental needs been met?” Have your fundamental needs been met? Do you know where your next meal will come from? Do you have shelter? Water? And then you can start to give attention to more long term things. How is my mental health? How can I get better for myself and others around me? And then you can give more specific attention to details. How should I express my opinions? Can I be creative? How am I going to show up for others? If we go out of order, we could go as far as to say we are neglecting ourselves. We are always focused inward, but rarely are we focused outward.

We don’t want to improve ourselves for the simple fact of not feeling pain. We want to improve ourselves because there is always something to work on and it’s a responsibility. We have to ourselves. “How do we do that?” Look around at something that bothers you and see if there is something you can do about it. “The things you do every day are the most important things you do and more of a reason to watch how you go about your day-to-day. Your priorities lie where you put the most effort, so be careful what you put most of your time into. How you see the world determines how it will [unfold in your eyes.]  That is why it is so important to keep your eyes focused on your goal.” If God is your goal, and you focus on seeking him out in the midst of joy or sorrow, you will only be able to see his hand in the world: not the brokenness of what it is, but the joy of what it could be.

Loving yourself doesn’t mean you think you’re the smartest, most talented, and most beautiful person in the world. Instead, when you love yourself you accept your so-called weaknesses, appreciate these so-called shortcomings as something that makes you who you are. When you love yourself you have compassion for yourself… You take care of yourself like you’d take care of a friend in distress. You treat yourself kindly. You don’t nitpick and criticize yourself” (Is Self-Love Biblical).

“Self-love is the foundation that allows us to be assertive, set boundaries and create healthy relationships with others, practice self-care, pursue our interests and goals, and feel proud of who we are.” (Sharon Martin) The biggest difference between worldly self-love and biblical self-love is that, with worldly self-love, you are your own savior. You are the one deciding what’s best for you and are alone in fighting your own mental and physical battles. With biblical self-love, you have God to pray to, ask for help, and feel him work in parts of your life you never even imagined.

God is the ultimate joy. He is the key to a peaceful life. He wants you to take advantage of your life and He will wait as long as he has to for you to come running to him. He is trying to show you that no matter your circumstances, ultimate joy is always offered in His name. True self-love and self-compassion won’t leave you empty after a few days or weeks; it will last you forever and will feel  like something greater than anything this world has to offer; that is when you know you have started on a journey with the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit changes every aspect of your life, so all of your decisions going forward will reflect God’s plan for your life instead of your own;which would be filled with uncertainty without him. With God, you might feel uncertain at times but God is there to surround you so you don’t feel alone and you won’t get overwhelmed.

One of the biggest leaps of faith we as Christians must take in order to live the way God intends is what he tells us in Matthew 6:33 when he says, “Seek first the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.” We are not meant to have it all figured out. God calls us to trust that He has already made way for us, even if it feels impossible in the moment. This verse should convict us; it is telling us that no one is more put together than anyone else; and most of all, no one has the right to judge. By putting yourself first, you indirectly mean that associating with people that disagree with you is wrong. If Jesus did that when he was on earth, we would not have a king and a savior that could redeem us. Jesus is our example, and if we strive to be like him, we will be put in uncomfortable situations.

God loves all people but love and approval are two very different things. In our culture there has been a massive blur between acceptance and love and approval of someone’s actions and ideologies. We can and should accept people even if we don’t necessarily approve of what they are doing or how they are choosing to live their life. Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it is thinking about yourself less (Warren). You can be a safe haven for people in friendships. Maybe, at the moment, they don’t think God is safe, but they know you are. This is why we have to be open to people who disagree with us. If we only focus on ourselves, we are doing the opposite of what God asks of us. As Christians, this is one of our priorities, and we have to have enough humility to admit that.

So yes, self-love today is different than it was intended. It wasn’t intended to be a selfish deed. Self-love went from its true form of giving glory to God to making our life all about ourselves. We are made in His image. As a Christian, that should mean something. Our lives are not just ours. We are meant to speak the name of Jesus through our words and our actions. God gave us the Bible to allow us to get to know Him on a personal level. He has nothing to prove to us, but He does love us very much. If God is love, the act of self-loving should have evidence of Him flowing through it. Unfortunately, society as a whole wants to believe that they are the heroes of their own stories. Just like a lot of other things today, the world has taken something true and beautiful, and made it into something the modern culture wouldn’t be offended by.

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