Feminism Versus the Family: How Feminism has Attacked Traditional Gender Roles and Undermined God’s Design

Lions are unique in the sense that they are the only big cats to live in a family unit which we refer to as a pride. The structure of a pride is simple, with the females being "...the primary hunters, while dominant males are responsible for protecting the pride's territory." (“Kicked Out of the Pride”) These roles are rigid, firmly defined by nature. They do not change with time or within differing prides. The male is always the protector while the female is always a provider. Similarly, the same being who created the lions created humans with a paralleled family structure that has been altered to fit human's natural distinctions between genders. Colossians 3:18-19 says this: "Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them."(New International Version) A simple statement but one that explains the intricacies of our human familial relationships well. There is a clear distinction between the roles that Paul describes in this verse; the man is to be the head of the family, to guide and care for his wife and children. The Wife is intended to support, to care for, and to obey the husband. This command was respected and followed for thousands of years. Almost every society followed the same ideology. Now fast forward to today, where men are no longer taught how to be strong and dominant in a way that will lead their families, but rather they are bullied by feminist media that tells them to be subservient to the women in their lives. The same is true with women: they are encouraged to be independent and to seek out a corporate job or some other career path that limits their ability to be mothers. Those who do choose to become mothers and housewives are ridiculed and looked down upon for conforming to the patriarchal stereotypes. Culture in America has transformed from one that glorifies God's specific design for how gender and familial relations were intended to function and replaces that idea with one of modernized feminist ideals that neither support nor improve the intended gender roles.

Note that in the last twenty to forty years feminists have shifted their ideology. The movement is no longer about making the world a safer and more equal place where women can coexist and prosper with men, whether that be at home or in the workplace. It has become a contest. Modern feminists have started to advocate for women to live a life that is completely devoid of men and by association, devoid of a proper family structure. Take for instance The Feminine Mystique, one of the most popular pieces of feminist literature of all time. In The Feminine Mystique, Betty Friedan used six hundred pages to propagate the idea that women have a duty to go into the workplace and build their careers rather than staying at home and building/taking care of their families. Don't get me wrong this is certainly something that many women have done and will continue to do, and more power to them. But, God gave women a unique and miraculous task, that of creating life, and it is not in the best interest of any party involved to lay that gift to the side in favor of a career of any kind. The creation of life should be celebrated, and by extension, women ought to be praised for the feat that is childbirth rather than being told that they have to seek out a career.

So how are men and women supposed to act? Not according to feminists or even modern society, but how are the sexes supposed to act according to the Bible? One idea that has made its way into the modern Christian thought process is the idea of "equal but different," not to be confused with "separate but equal," which stems from Plessy v. Ferguson. The idea of "equal but different" is a simple one: it means that God created man and woman for very different jobs and with different authorities, but they are equal in the sense that they are both necessary to the creation and flourishing of life, which is one of man's only God-given jobs. For instance, in Ephesians 5:22-33 it says, "Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior." There are those who detest this verse, as they think that women are entirely capable of living their own lives and leading themselves. But, just as God created the lioness to work in conjunction with the lion, so too did he create woman to work in conjunction with man. He created women to complement the numerous shortcomings of men. Typically this emerges in the home with things like caring for children which requires a great amount of emotional intimacy and expression, something women are typically more suited to than men. But, as I said, men and women were created to complement each other, so that lack of emotional dependence has made men more apt to make large decisions that were very necessary in ancient times. And these decisions translate to today; take for instance a story from my sister when she was working at Grant Medical Center in Columbus, OH. She witnessed a man, a woman, and a child visiting a grandparent for the last time and having to make the decision on whether to remove them from life support or not. Obviously, this is quite a traumatic decision to have to make, and it caused the child to break down emotionally. Now in that moment, the mother was able to empathize with the child and in doing so succumbed to her emotions as well. The man, on the other hand, according to my sister, remained nearly emotionless. This gave him the ability to make an extremely tough decision for his family purely based on logic and what was best for that family member. This could not demonstrate the two sexes' different roles more perfectly. The mother was there to comfort while the father was there to provide support and take the burden of the decision off of his family.

Newell states in The Code of Man that there is a set of fundamental values that define true masculinity and further explains how men should behave so that they are able to care for their families like the man in the hospital. Simply put and in no particular order they are love, courage, pride, a sense of family, and a dedication to one's country. It is through these attributes that a man can steward not only himself but his family and the environment in which his family lives.

Love is one of the more important values on this list, for, without love, what do you have to be courageous for? How will you take pride in something or someone that you do not love? How can you create a true family without loving them? Why would you dedicate yourself to a country that you do not love? It is possible that the concept of what love really is or means has been skewed for many readers. Alcoholic and abusive parents have become more and more common in this day and age and have brought about a sad reality in which many children are being brought up in a home that does not showcase true love. Luckily enough we as Christians just so happen to be given a guide on how to show love.

In 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 Paul describes to us what love truly is: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." While there are other aspects to what many consider to be true masculinity and by extension fatherhood, love as described in the Bible must be the foundation of the male persona. "Love is patient, love is kind." We must be patient and kind to those around us whether that be our kids, our wives, a drive-through worker, or someone who is screaming in your face telling you that you are a monster for trying to prevent someone from having an abortion. "It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud." A truly masculine man does not envy what his brother has. And conversely, the man who has more ought not boast about his possessions, wealth, or family. We have no right to be proud; everything that we have was given to us by a loving and gracious god. "It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs." Just because men have a certain power over their lives doesn't mean that they have the right to dishonor them. We must also put our wives and children's needs over our own. We must always be patient with our families and forgive their sins against us. " It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." Our love should always lead us to protect and trust our families, and to persevere when times are tough.

The Bible constantly calls both men and women to be courageous. That being said, there is a large emphasis on the importance of male courage. In reality this shouldn't be surprising. Our jobs as husbands and friends is to be strong and lead for those people in our lives who can't. In Joshua 1:9 we are called to "...Be strong and courageous." The Bible is also filled with demonstrations of men being "strong and courageous". One of the most common being David and Goliath; a story about a boy who, without hesitation or fear and with immense courage brought on by his faith in God, fought and killed Goliath, a literal giant. It is still important to understand that courage and strength do not always mean fighting in wars. Realistically, it is much more likely that men of our time will need the courage that men like Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego had. The courage to stand up for what we believe in, to defy what is wrong, to turn the other cheek when the repercussions for defying evil come our way.

Pride is the most arguable virtue on this list. Newell himself was aware of that. In fact his entire first paragraph on pride is asking the same question, "...Is pride a quality that we would even want to cultivate?", and his explanation is truly insightful (101). In his mind pride itself is nothing more than a topper; something that is hard to gain and if gained for the wrong reason, loses all its inherent value. Aristotle said it the best, “Pride, then, seems to be a sort of crown of the virtues; for it makes them greater, and it is not found without them. Therefore it is hard to be truly proud; for it is impossible without nobility and goodness of character.” (“Nicomachean Ethics 4.3”) So, pride must be handled with care. If it is acquired through the other virtues; if you are loving, if you are strong, if you care for your family then pride should be yours to, as Aristotle said, crown the other virtues. However, if you begin with pride then it shall lead to nothing but destruction.

If you were to ask a husband and father what the most important thing in the world is to him, odds are that he would say his family. This attribute that men have, and what Newell describes as "a sense of family" is one that has always existed. If we look at the research done by David D. Gilmore in Manhood in the Making, we can see that as far back as ancient Mediterranean societies men have had essentially the same goal. "The ideals of manliness found in these places in the Mediterranean seem to have three moral imperatives: first, impregnating one's wife; second, provisioning dependents; third, protecting the family. These criteria demand assertiveness and resolve. All must be performed relentlessly in the loyal service of the "collective identities" of the self." Just as the male lion has always protected and guided their pride, so to have men always had a desire to act in favor of their family. Men have always had the instinctual desire to create, provide for, and protect a family. We do it because, like the lion, we were created to function in this way.

Love of country has become more and more of a debated ideal. In this day and age, many hate America specifically because of its history. Despite that, Jeremiah 29:7 says to "...seek... peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the LORD for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper.” As Christians, it is important to understand that God has a plan for our lives. That means that wherever you are, God has a reason for you to be there. When Newell says that we should have a love for country he means that we should care for the country that we are in and attempt to steward it as well as possible. Unfortunately, there isn't much we can do on the national level unless you plan on becoming a politician, but it is equally or more important to impact your local government and environment in a positive way. Whether your "country" is your neighborhood or your church, men must take care of their surroundings, whether that is by making sure that their community is safe and clean for their children or by taking care of the homeless.

Men are only half of the whole, a yin without its yang, and without their other half the world could hardly function. So how should women act according to the Bible? Now I am no woman, therefore I give you full permission to detest any opinions that I have about their situation or how they should act because of it. That being said, the Bible, just as it does with men, provides guidelines for how women ought to live. For instance in Genesis, when women are introduced into the world, they are given three jobs in equal collaboration with men. "Be fruitful and to multiply...", "...subdue" the Earth, and have "dominion". (Genesis 1:28 ESV) All jobs that, without the collaboration of two unique and equally valuable genders, would not be possible.

Despite all of this, it is a commonly held belief that the Bible is intrinsically misogynistic, encouraging women to live in a place of placid servitude or borderline slavery and subsequent abuse brought on by the male gender. One woman said this after a seminar put on by Aubrey Sampson: “Look, I like what I hear about Jesus in my travels. But the Bible seems very anti-women. I cannot bring myself to worship a God who is so misogynistic”. (Sampson) Isn't she right? Doesn't the Bible talk about the enslavement of women on multiple accounts? Of course it does, the Bible is a historical document after all. But there is a stark difference between impartially recounting a historical norm and supporting said norm. In reality, the Bible detests the unequal treatment of women and holds them at the same level as men while also giving them their own responsibilities at the same time.

Take Proverbs 31 for example, verses ten through thirty-one describe a list of the duties and positive attributes of women who have dedicated themselves to the service of God. First, look to verses sixteen through seventeen. It says "She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard. She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong." Those are not the words of a book that oppresses women. To start, these verses encourage women to take part in the financial decisions of the house. To create something that will yield a profit for her family. It also calls women to live their lives in strength, in what world would a misogynistic book call women to "...dress themselves in strength."? It is amazing that thousands of years ago the Bible was being written with ideas of equality that rival even our own. Jesus himself treated women with nothing but respect and reverence. He even stopped a woman from being stoned after she was caught in adultery. (John 8:1-11) But remember, equality is a two-sided coin. With the praise and call to strength come responsibilities and a call to action. Not but two verses later in Proverbs 31:20, we see the first specific call to action for women in this chapter. "She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy." This seems to be a fairly broad statement. Reaching out your hands to the needy could cover everything from donations to the church to offering your own home to foster children. But that is the open-ended beauty of this form of service, giving women the ability to follow this command to any capacity that they are able. The next notable verses all present traits of women that are less physical and more personality-based. We see a second call to strength, but along with that it says that dignity, wisdom, and a fear of the Lord are what create strong women. (Proverbs 31:25-31)

All of these attributes for strong men and virtuous women center around families. Families which have led to the birth of the greatest leaders, and have led to the creation of the best countries. America itself was created by men leading their families to a new land which they stewarded and cared for; bringing up children in the ways of the church, with the additions of knowledge and tenacity. Those families led America to become one of the greatest countries in history. Yet even after hundreds and thousands of years and millions of examples, there are those who would destroy this model of masculinity and femininity and the beautiful families they create. Feminists in particular have been advocates for the destruction of traditional gender roles and family structures. They call them toxic and behind the times. They would do away with the strong stoic men and the loving nurturing women of ancient times as they advocate weak incapable men and distant cold women. They would do away with the tried and true family structure that has the strength and foundation of a father as well as the emotional support and intelligence of a strong and caring mother. They have replaced this idea of the nuclear family with single mothers, stay-at-home dads, and other combinations of parents that lack the balancing factor of the family that God created.

Mary Wollenstonecraft, the woman who is accredited with creating the feminist movement in the late 1700s once said, "Women ought to have representatives, instead of being arbitrarily governed without any direct share allowed them in the deliberations of government." This is the foundation of what the Feminist movement was supposed to be. Women were supposed to have a say in their lives. They were supposed to be able to fight for and take care of themselves if they so desired, whether that be in the workplace or at home. Fast forward two hundred years, to a time when radical feminists look down upon young mothers for wanting to stay home and to take care of their husbands and children, and where men are called misogynists because they try to provide for and lead their families. To a time where feminism has drifted away from simply wanting to give women the opportunities, rights, and equality that they deserve, and has drifted towards a movement that attacks not only traditional gender roles but the traditional idea of families in general.

The idea of feminism began with Wollenstonecrafts publication of A Vindication of the Rights of Woman In which she states that women are rational beings and ought to have the same rights and opportunities as men. This laid the basis for what we now know as feminism. However, feminism has had four "waves" so far. The first wave was from the 1840s to the 1920s. This wave primarily focused on women's ineligibility to vote. The Second Wave (1963-1980's) began with Betty Friedman, publisher of The Feminine Mystique. The second wave is when Feminism strayed from its roots of female equality, and took the path of complete feminine independence from the familial structure. It "... argued that women were chafing against the confines of their roles as wives and mothers." (Pruitt) The goal was no longer to give women a voice, to let them vote and stand up for themselves. No, the mission was to create a generation of women who put their careers and their interests above all else. The third and fourth waves only perpetuated this thought process further. These waves supported things like abortion, further pushing the idea that women truly did not need men in their lives. And with the immense support that fourth-wave feminism has given to the LGBTQ community, feminist ideas about sexuality and gender have started to push their way into parenting as well as places that parents have little to no control, schools.

There are two examples of this that demonstrate how feminists have strayed from the path of equality for women and began down a path of feminist propaganda that abuses the constructs of marriage and gender. The first example is a video that was released on TikTok in late 2021. It was released on an account titled Feminist, so wouldn't you think that this account would be posting videos that actually support women's rights? Or perhaps videos that discuss the struggles that women themselves face? Well the video that was posted was of a mother talking about raising her child. The video did not talk about what skills she was teaching her child. It did not talk about how she was helping the child grow intellectually. But it did talk about how she and her "partner", raised their child Zoomer without "assigning a gender". The video also talks about how the parents used gender-neutral pronouns with Zoomer "until He was able to decide which pronouns fit him best". That is not the concerning part of this video, what is concerning is that these parents, whose sole priority should be first and foremost to give this child a healthy childhood and to prepare Him for the world that we live in, spent their time teaching Zoomer about "...bodies, gender, identity, and expression in an expansive and inclusive way." In what world does a five-year-old child, who has probably just started to grasp the basic ideas of reading and writing, need to learn about bodies and gender identities? Feminism has contributed to the explosion of the LGBTQ movement, and that movement has continually assaulted the way in which God intended us to raise our children, which is in the "...training and instruction of the Lord."(Ephesians 6:4)

Luckily this is not all parents. There are still parents out there who are raising smart and capable children in a manner that pleases the Lord. However, that does not mean that the structure of the Male and Female marriage/parentage, and gender itself are safe from the attacks of the secular world. One horrifying example of this is the recent phenomenon of drag queens which have begun showing up in both elementary and high schools. In 2017 NBC New York posted an article discussing this matter following parents' outrage over a drag performer being featured in their children's talent show. The story even takes a turn and becomes borderline illegal when one of the mothers, Raquel Morales, recounted how she "...couldn’t believe her eyes as she watched the erotic dance with her 10-year-old son." It is entirely absurd that a place of education for children should be infected with the ideals of the LGBTQ party. A party that has only gained its footing because of the support it has received from feminists worldwide. And to make matters worse, many of these assemblies have been mandatory. On March 3, a high school in Elk Grove California held a mandatory assembly in which the school's LGBTQ group performed the show. Once again parents were outraged saying things like, “It’s despicable that this performance took place at all, but if you’re going to insist to have it, you must absolutely clearly communicate with parents and students in advance.” (Ting) This means that not only did the school allow this to take place, but they also hid it from the parents whose kids were being subjected to this material. It is truly a shame that over many decades feminism has transformed from supporting women so that they could have control over their own lives, to promoting the hypersexualisation of our culture and the indoctrination of our children into such beliefs.

But please do not misconstrue the message of this paper. I believe it is a common agreement that the feminist's initial push for women's equality has made the world a better place for both men and women. There is much greater support for mothers and women of all kinds, and the vast majority no longer have to feel incapable in their positions. But in many aspects, feminism has severely overstepped its boundaries and has shifted from protecting women's rights to attacking things such as marriage; leaving women more vulnerable to unfortunate paths such as single motherhood. Katie Roiphe once posted an article that was in support of single motherhood. She insisted that the traditional structure of a family, with a mother and a father, was not necessary. However, these alternative forms of parenting, in her case single motherhood with two separate fathers, only work for a small percentage of families. In reality, our history, and current studies have proven that, without a doubt, a family of a mother, a father, and a child or children is still the best course of action because that is how it was created to be. The CDC commented on this topic saying that "Parents are among the most important people in the lives of young children. Parents include mothers and fathers..." ("Child Development: Parenting Matters") The kids who are being born into this time in our world need a mother and father to guide them.

What feminists fail to realize is that there is nothing anti-feminist or anti-woman about valuing both male and female aspects when it comes to relationships and parenting. Not only is the Bible ridden with the reasoning behind the importance of a male and female counterpart in a relationship, but the science proves that even without religion both men and women are needed to raise a healthy family. There was a study done by Chapin Hall at the University of Chicago. In which they gathered data from 310 mothers as well as sixteen fathers over a five year span. They focused on "...the role of male caregivers in the lives of young children. " (Spielberg) They found two important things from this study: one, "Male caregivers are just as likely to engage in nurturing and educational activities (e.g., singing songs and reading stories) with children as they are to take part in more traditional fathering activities (e.g., sports and outdoor recreation). Male caregivers saw these activities as an opportunity to model positive behaviors for their children." And while this does not prove that fathers are a necessity it does exemplify their willingness to take part in the more "motherly" responsibilities.

The second thing that they found was that both mothers and fathers understand and support the paternal duties that have been laid out, whether they know it or not, in the Bible and adopted by society. Duties as described by this article include, but are not limited to, "...securing a safe home and neighborhood; obtaining basic food, health care, and clothing for their children; and providing access to education, play, and recreational opportunities." On Top of that, as previously discussed, according to the Bible fathers have a duty to educate their children in the way of the Lord.

All of this to say that the ideals of feminism and its leaders have greatly shifted from what Wollenstoncraft initially wanted. In place of the First Wave feminists who fought for women's equal voice and rights lies a generation of feminists who, along with the LGBTQ community, attack the very constructs that outline gender, families, and the responsibilities of both. Luckily we have the Bible and scientific evidence to promote the benefits of a traditional family. A family with a mother, a father, and the Lord at the head, teaching the children to grow into strong generous individuals.

The Bible highlights the differences, putting the differences of wives and husbands on a holy pedestal, exalting them in their symbiotic differences. It emphasizes the mutual love, support, and mutual respect that create a strong and fulfilling marriage. Scriptures such as Colossians 3:18-19 and Ephesians 5:22-33 underscore the importance of shared importance and unique roles in marriage. Further, true masculinity is described by Newell in a list of attributes: love, courage, pride, a sense of family, and a dedication to one's country. These are what have made men great and will continue to do so in the future. It is also what leads men and women to have strong, healthy, and happy marriages. Similarly, women are called by the Bible to embody similar attributes. Those being: strength, dignity, wisdom, and a fear of the lord.

Even though feminists may attack the traditional gender roles and attributes, the Bible reaffirms their importance. We can go further; the counterarguments that feminists present such as single motherhood have been proven to be detrimental to children. Research emphasizes the importance of both maternal and paternal involvement in nurturing and educating children. We have to understand that God created men and women with specific goals in mind. He created men to protect and to serve their families, and he created women to nurture their children. Only with this combination of male and female parenting can we fight back against the infiltration of feminist ideals into not only our schools but our families as well.

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