An Endless Pursuit of Want

Picture a man who is never without a cigarette. He smokes through an entire pack every couple days, or if he has a hard day, he smokes through an entire pack in one day. Even though he has a job, he continuously gets in trouble for leaving sporadically to “get a quick smoke.”People try to tell him he has a problem, but he has justified his habit in his head. He tells them he can stop whenever and smokes only for fun, but we know he is reliant on cigarettes. We know he has an addiction.

Addictions like this one have, throughout time, been a severe issue in society. Since B.C. times, people like the man above have been addicted to various substances or ideas, whether that tis alcohol, drugs, or concepts of the same manner. Today, those same addictions are present, but with an abundance of science and research on the severe consequences of drug use and alcoholism, people steer away from becoming addicted. As time goes on, though, new substances are developed that are seemingly non-harmful—though no research has been done yet—and become popularized. Eventually, of course, research is done and those addictive substances and ideas are widely disparaged like cigarettes have been.

With that in mind, there is a certain addiction with which society has become plagued. For reasons that will later be discussed, this addiction has not been shunned and most likely will not be shunned. It is not viewed as an addiction, as it is so widespread that it cannot be viewed as an addiction. Even still, this addiction is harmful both chemically, psychologically, physically, and relationally to those who succumb to it. This addiction is consumerism.

Granted you live in the United States, you have most likely heard this term in a pleasant light. That is because consumerism is a very popular and fun idea; with it comes easy entertainment, cheap and delicious food, and a million ways to “live life.” It is “the idea that increasing the consumption of goods and services purchased is always a desirable goal, and that a person's well-being and happiness depend fundamentally on obtaining consumer goods and material possessions” (Hayes). This belief is so pushed by giant corporations that it has become a central part of culture, especially American culture. Instead of praising whatever is good, beautiful, kind, and worthy of praise as Paul commands the Phillipians, people praise whatever is easy, fast, and fun (English Standard Version Philippians 4:8). They want to do nothing other than consume: work and relationships are secondary and only for the purpose of further consumption. This is evident in the work practices of the modern American, as if you go and ask a person working a job why they are working that job, they will more likely than not answer, “To get money.”

Yes, people work to get money that they can spend on whatever makes life easier and more fun for them; they pay bills to live comfortably and spend the rest on subscriptions, services, fast food, phones, cars, etc. It is no surprise then, that the average American lives paycheck to paycheck (Batdorf).

With all this being said, consumerism is a problem. It creates conflict and consequences in all areas of life in greater ways than people wish to believe. It has to do with an addictive chemical, which is good when produced in the God-designed manner but harmful when created outside of God’s desire. In God’s plan, people work to the greatest of their abilities, giving glory to God. Their primary purpose is none other than that: giving glory to God. Rewards come secondary; they are delayed.

Contrary to God’s plan is a life of instant gratification, or the action of rewarding oneself without any work. This addiction forces people to focus on creating more dopamine, leaving no room or purpose for developing relationships, working hard, or benefiting society in any way. This is the issue at heart: prioritizing the self above all else. Those who engage in consumerism—whether a little or a lot—prioritize themselves in order to achieve satisfaction. They search for satisfaction in their fun lifestyle. In the same manner that children whose parents smoke cigarettes are highly likely to follow suit, those children whose parents engage in this instantly gratifying lifestyle will further engage in that lifestyle, though in an even greater manner (Shrier). Now, consumerism itself is not necessarily wrong; it has a time and place. Where it is wrong, though, is when consumerism becomes the goal of life. While consumerism itself is not inherently wrong, consumerism culture—the culture focused on consumerism as its first purpose—is detrimental to society and has a profoundly negative impact on the mental, physical, and relational health of those who engage in it. With that in mind, we must end consumerism culture by forgoing instant gratification in light of delayed rewards, refusing to engage in the “easy” when we need to engage in the difficult, and glorifying God through our work. We have to engage in delaying gratification and avoid the addictive nature of instantly received reward. Further, we must use that knowledge when parenting our children, being careful not to lead our children down the dangerous path of instant gratification.

Consumerism culture is a deep and complicated issue, but many of the consequences are easily seen once they are tied to consumerism. People in the modern day, though they have a hundred times the amount of items and opportunities for consumption that people had a hundred years ago, are more miserable. In fact, depression rates and the use of anti-depressing substances like drugs and alcohol have skyrocketed (Kramer). Tori DeAngelis, a psychologist, stated about consumerism, “Our becoming much better off over the last four decades has not been accompanied by one iota of increased subjective well-being.” With everything of desire within reach of a simple click on Amazon or a five-minute drive, we should be much happier as a society. Somehow, though, we are worse off mentally. “The 1997 Child Development Supplement found a connection between increased materialism and anxiousness, fearfulness, unhappiness, sadness, depression, and being withdrawn” (Kramer). This growing sadness is not a result of the increased amount of luxury but rather because of the growing dependency on those items for happiness.

This dependency has created a change of purpose from living into consuming. “[W]ith the passage from mere consumption to consumerism, there was a sort of ‘consumerist revolution’ that, for many people, has elevated consumption to one of the purposes of their existence” (Passini). With this purpose, it is no surprise that people are more depressed. They can never find satisfaction in consuming, as consuming only creates happiness while consuming is occurring. It creates “‘an apparently endless pursuit of want’ in which satisfaction is substituted by an eternal search for it” (Passini). This eternal search for satisfaction, of course, will never subside as long as this consumerism occurs.

Unfortunately, with this self-pleasing purpose in life, all other purposes become secondary. Work is still prioritized only for further consumption, as you do in fact still need money to consume. However, things that are not immediately gratifying and do not help further consumption, like relationships, are ignored. “In simple terms, a strong consumerist bent...can promote unhappiness because it takes time away from the things that can nurture happiness, including relationships with family and friends, research shows” (DeAngelis). It is ironic that, in the pursuit of what people think will possibly make them happy, they destroy what actually makes them happy.

These are the more tangible effects of the consumerism addiction, but why do these effects occur? What makes people think consuming will satisfy them? What causes the rapidly increasing rates of depression and obesity? It has to do with that chemical called dopamine. This chemical, commonly known as the “happy” chemical, is produced when people do things that make them feel good. For example, a fun conversation with a close friend makes you feel happy because it causes your body to produce dopamine in a healthy amount. All dopamine is the same, but there are two ways of dopamine production which cause beneficial or detrimental effects: delayed and instant gratification. Delayed gratification, the natural and healthy form of dopamine production, creates a balance between chemical productions (Haynes). The body must work and deal with negative “feeling” chemicals like cortisol before it reaps the reward, dopamine. The reason this is a healthy form of dopamine production is because of a concept called homeostasis, which is the body’s desire to return to a normal state (Billman). In delayed gratification, the body, once the work starts, enters into a negative feeling state with chemicals like cortisol which have the opposite effect of dopamine (Sinem). Then, the body produces dopamine after the action is completed at a continuous but not excessive rate, leaving the body at a happy feeling. This is called the dopamine cycle. On the other hand, there is instant gratification. What this does is skip the work process of dopamine production, cutting right into the reward function. Dopamine is initially produced at much higher rates, causing burnout—the lack of happy feeling even though dopamine is being produced—and an increase in cortisol production (Gao). Since the body must go back to homeostasis, it must produce an excess of cortisol to counter the dopamine (Gao). This leaves the body in a net-negative feeling state.

If you really think about this, it makes sense. Your happiest moments are most likely after waiting for an extended period, whether that is coming home to your family after a long work trip, eating a delicious meal after working out hard, or even getting married after spending so much time developing a relationship. Contrarily, any moment in which you have not waited or delayed gratification has probably left you feeling sad or unsatisfied. This could be spending hours scrolling your phone, eating fast food, or watching television.

The positive effects of delayed reward are easiest to understand by witnessing the effects in one's own life. Runners, people who work hard jobs and delight in them, mothers who go through pregnancy, and many more people have experienced working hard and pain before receiving the greater rewards from those actions. However, all three of those delayed reward actions are very difficult to get started on; once people start, though, it is much easier to continue (Haynes).

But why does this occur? And where is the proof that it is easier to continue once starting delayed gratification? Zilong Gao and a group of scientists set out to answer these very questions. They ran a study on mice, examining the behavioral and neural reactions the rats had after experiencing instant or delayed gratification. Gao subjected the mice to a simple, one armed task in which they instantly received 10 microliters of water (Gao). This instant gratification, he found, caused the mice to seek more and more reward at faster rates. He then took these same mice and offered a slower, but more rewarding pathway to receive water. The amount of reward received depended on the amount of work which was done. The mice were slow to enter into this delayed gratification, but once they did, they were more content to wait for the greater rewards (Gao).

Gao, of course, did not simply analyze the behaviors of these mice; he looked into their neural activities as well. He found that, initially upon engaging in delayed gratification, the mice received a drop in VTA Dopaminergic activity–or Dopamine–, but that drop does not last for long. As the mice delayed reward further and further, they received exponentially more dopamine from delaying the rewards (Gao). This is the same process which goes on in the human mind. This is the reason people can, time and time again, engage in seemingly grueling activities (like running marathons) and feel happy after doing so. The amount of dopamine produced at the end of work is so much more fulfilling that people become determined to continue working.

The human body does not stop there, though. We are designed better than that. See, even with the greater “happy” feeling we get from delaying work, there is still the delaying period in which we must go through. Sometimes, it feels better to just sit down and instantly gratify oneself–this is never the better decision. As Gao researched, he noticed one other thing in the production of dopamine as the mice delayed reward. He began seeing, after the mice had experienced the delayed gratification a few times, an increasing amount of dopamine produced in the mice during the work stage. Not only were the end of work rewards exponentially more than the instant rewards, the entire process of delayed gratification, including the delaying, produced bounds of dopamine (Gao). This has to do with RPE (Reward Prediction Error) encoding (Haynes). Trevor Haynes, a researcher at Harvard University, wrote on this, “Every time a response to a stimulus results in a reward, these associations become stronger through a process called long-term potentiation. This process strengthens frequently used connections between brain cells called neurons by increasing the intensity at which they respond to particular stimuli.” Initially upon experiencing a dopamine producing action which is unexpected–like learning–, dopamine is only produced at the end of said action. However, as Haynes wrote, the body begins making connections between actions and dopamine production, and begins expecting reward. As the expectation occurs, dopamine can begin production as the action occurs, producing in greater amounts as reward is continually encountered (Haynes).

With all that being said, the hardest part of delaying gratification is beginning. It is especially difficult in this world of endless consumerism, where it is normal to satisfy addictions constantly via scrolling Instagram or TikTok. We live in this world, where people need rewards not only to feel happy but in order to feel normal...is that a beautiful way to live? I believe not, but my word alone means little. Research and evidence, even, are not enough for some. But what if I said Jesus Himself commands us to delay gratification? He says in Matthew 6:19-21, “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” (ESV). Not only in Matthew does God prescribe delaying gratification, but He commands it again in Colossians 3:1 saying to focus and work towards the things above; John 6:27 commanding believers to work not for that which spoils but instead that which endures; Proverbs 13:4 saying that satisfaction comes from work and never from instant gratification, and countless other verses. Unfortunately, the modern Christian has forgotten these commands and has engaged in selfish consumerism, like the rest of the world.

But, how did we get here? How did we reach this state of a society dependent on trying to be fulfilled? First off, separation from God caused this problem. Where there is the world, there will be sin and lack of wisdom. However, this is true with every sin. What makes consumerism different? What has caused us to be so plagued with this addiction? It is how we have been raised.

If you would take a look at the life of a child in the 1800s, you would see many children working alongside their parents in factories or on farms. Children worked long shifts, doing hard–and dangerous–work on machinery. Living conditions were poor, but the children had to work like this to even get by with their families. Looking at children of today, you will see a stark difference. Kids rarely work jobs because they do not need to. They have access to hundreds of thousands of experiences, experiences that kids of the 1800s would not have been able to fathom. Many kids of the 1800s had miserable lives, but over the years that misery was reversed to the opposite side of the extreme: ultimate comfortability. What has happened, though, is a far swing from misery into debauchery, especially with this new generation of “iPad kids.”

Still, how did we get here? Well, in the years following WWII and the Great Depression, consumerism grew at a huge rate (Higgs). Free from the desperation of the Great Depression and with a little extra cash, people could go out and buy items that made living better. With a larger number of people who had a greater amount of money, corporations began pushing advertisements which catered to the people. “Once World War II was over, consumer culture took off again throughout the developed world, partly fueled by the deprivation of the Great Depression and the rationing of the wartime years and incited with renewed zeal by corporate advertisers using debt facilities and the new medium of television” (Higgs). Advertisements created an almost need for the items which they displayed, especially for children.

This is because advertisers began targeting the emotional response portion of the brain. “Psychologists also garner information from the field of neuropsychology to develop neuromarketing strategies that are designed to help advertisers reach the triune brain... in such a way to make it ‘virtually impossible for critical thinking to occur while watching an ad’” (Kramer). Adults, of course, have decent ability to combat the advertisements. Contrarily children, with semi-developed–or triune–brains, low rates of logical processing, and blinding emotions, are prone to fall into the phycologists' brain trap. This began a process in which children were grown into consumerism, whether parents knew it or not. Brand name ideology, the need for the newest items, and the desire to be satisfied through materialism all were created by advertisers (Kramer). Now, people have to have the newest phone, Nike shoes, and expensive vacations to be happy. Why? Because that is what they were told, and they literally could not believe otherwise.

In a study run by Steve Bradt, he found this concept of emotional versus logistical parts of the brain to be directly tied to consumerism. “The study showed that decisions involving the possibility of immediate reward activated parts of the brain influenced heavily by brain systems that are associated with emotion. In contrast, all the decisions the students made–whether short- or long-term–activated brain systems that are associated with abstract reasoning” (Bradt). He further stated, “The researchers concluded that impulsive choices or preferences for short-term rewards result from the emotion-related parts of the brain winning out over the abstract reasoning parts.” (Bradt). The semi-developed brains of children make instant gratification and advertisements essentially irresistible. And, as children and parents give in to consumerism more and more, advertisers keep pushing for more consumerism. Advertisers will never stop, of course, as they want more money. This all makes sense; you can see the effects of the advertisement. How many times have you seen a child beg their parents for an item they saw on TV and, maybe a few days after getting the item, drop the item and ask for the next one?

Whether you want to look at the negative effects on health and relationships, the benefits of delayed gratification, or the fact that the Bible commands delayed gratification, something has to change. It starts with the self; How can you begin delaying gratification and avoiding consumerism? The hardest part, as listed above, is starting. People must recognize that the work gets easier–and more fun–as they continue to reap rewards from it and as they continue working. Additionally, like a cigarette user must stop buying cigarettes to manage an addiction to them, people must put away instantly rewarding items like social media and TV until his or her work is done. You do not have to stop using entertainment completely–God created these things to enjoy–, but they must be enjoyed in moderation.

Further, adults must recognize that work is a part of God’s plan. In Ephesians 2:10, Paul writes, “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” God has this beautiful planned work for you to do, and He will reward you for following that plan. This is promised in Hebrews 6:10, “For God is not unjust so as to overlook your work and the love that you have shown for his name in serving the saints, as you still do,” and Galatians 6:9, “And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.” The primary goal of a believer is to glorify God, and working for God’s kingdom in whatever way you are called does just that.

This issue, then, is solved as simply as knowing the negative effects of consumerism and the positive effects of delayed gratification, understanding that the work becomes more enjoyable and that God will reward work, and going out and doing those good works. This is attainable for adults, especially for those adults who follow Christ.

However, there is one certain group of people that has an extremely difficult time understanding the logical reasoning behind delaying gratification and, at many times, feels it almost impossible to resist consumption: children. “Evidence is mounting to suggest that multiple decision processes are tuned differently in adolescents and adults including reward reactivity, uncertainty-tolerance, delay discounting, and experiential assessments of value and risk” (Tierney). Yes, these children with semi-developed brains have extremely difficult times understanding the benefits of work and, if given the chance, would rather binge-watch TV, play games, and eat junk food all day than work at all. With the benefits of non-consumerist behaviors and their inability to follow those, children require extra help.

This is because of several reasons. First, as stated earlier, children have semi-developed brains. This makes it more difficult to logically process, even with all the information they need to make a wise decision. Secondly, parenting practices and advertisements essentially force children into consumerism. In this modern age, parents with ample financials will give to their children anything they desire. This has led to so called “iPad” kids, who are constantly consuming whenever and wherever they can.

Children learn from their experiences. In the past, without the access to everything they have ever wanted, children learned delayed gratification through waiting for a reward. There were no “easy” forms of entertainment like iPads, leaving children to explore the outdoors, imagine, and work for items they wanted. Nowadays, children do not learn to delay gratification, which is causing a lack of development in children’s brains.

Children’s brains develop in spurts called critical periods. The first occurs around age 2, with a second one occurring during adolescence. At the start of these periods, the number of connections (synapses) between brain cells (neurons) doubles. Two-year-olds have twice as many synapses as adults. Because these connections between brain cells are where learning occurs, twice as many synapses enable the brain to learn faster than at any other time of life. Therefore, children’s experiences in this phase have lasting effects on their development (Sriram).

The rapid pace at which children learn the pathways they create and forever will have in their brains all create a dependency on instant gratification if they are not taught to delay reward. If a child is taught, by experience, that they will get whatever they ask for and that life is about consumerism, they will follow that pathway for the rest of their lives or have an extremely difficult time learning to follow a better pathway.

However, the brain is continually developed throughout one’s entire life. New neurological pathways can be created, and many old ones can be altered or changed. Even with the stark number of neurological pathways being created in adolescent brains, is it really that important to teach delayed gratification that early? It is extremely important. “However, the changes that take place during the early years are particularly important because they are the bedrock of what comes after. Higher level functions are dependent on lower level functions, the evidence for which is primarily in the basic cognitive processes and sensory perceptual systems” (Tierney). The plasticity of the brain is created during the younger years, meaning that those habits, functions, and basic level processes are all foundational for who that child will eventually become.

But it is not just bad habits that come from practicing instant gratification; children’s brains develop in lesser ways when practicing instant reward versus delayed reward. W. Mischel and company examined this concept, analyzing the effects of delayed versus instant reward in four-year-olds, and how that affected them in further years. “Those 4-year-old children who delayed gratification longer in certain laboratory situations developed into more cognitively and socially competent adolescents, achieving higher scholastic performance and coping better with frustration and stress” (Mischel). Children who delayed gratification were overall more successful and had better emotional health than those who did not. Further, Mischel concluded that, in order to become competent adults, children must learn delayed gratification.

Children learning to delay gratification is clearly important, and whether or not they learn this concept will alter the course of their lives. Since they will not choose delayed reward on their own, they have to be taught...but how does a parent teach his or her child such an abstract concept?

It starts with understanding how children learn. A major way children learn is by examining the world around them and mimicking what they see. A child will watch two people engage in a conversation, see their facial expressions and mouth movements, and try then to speak on his or her own. “Young children are paying attention to the world around them every waking moment. They watch how their parents and caregivers talk, eat, react to situations and interact with others” (Shrier). Parents, as the primary people in a child’s life, are the child’s primary teachers. Their actions, movements, and practices teach a child much more than anyone understands. One of the greatest ways to teach a child to delay gratification, then, is practicing that in your own life. You do, however, have to show this practice to your children. Children can only mimic what they can see.

It also must be known that, while parents are the primary teachers of their children, they are not the only teachers. Children are watching and attempting to mimic everything. “You aren’t their only teacher, however. Young children’s interactions with family, friends, babysitters and even what they observe on television is teaching children much more than you may realize” (Shrier). Even if parents are constantly practicing and showing their child delayed reward, their child could be learning instant reward from other interactions, negating their work.

Next, a parent must have their child practice delayed gratification through work before reward. A child has the same dopaminergic responses as an adult when it comes to reward, but a child will develop good or bad habits at exponentially faster rates. Depending on the child’s age, having them practice talking, reading, writing, or having them clean or help with a project and then rewarding them for this behavior will teach the child to delay gratification (Bredehoft). Parents must be careful, though, to avoid overworking or overly rewarding their child, as this will negate the process.

Furthermore, children are more likely to engage in instant gratification when they are feeling sad.

Previous work on affect has led to the suggestion that sadness focuses attention on the aversiveness of one's situation. This produces a self-therapeutic effect in which people attempt to conserve those resources which may allow them to counteract the aversiveness of the affective state. This conservation shows up in the decreased generosity, increased self-gratification, and decreased willingness to work at a task once rewards have ceased that have been found to result from sadness (Moore).

Parents must pay attention not only to their child’s behaviors when they are sad, but also to their own. A child should be taught to use fulfilling means for comfort when they are sad, not non-fulfilling instant gratification. Playing/listening to music, hanging out with good friends/family, hugging, etc can all give comfort to a child or a parent. Remember, since the child learns from example, parents must be wary of their own behaviors. If the parent’s first response to sadness is indulging in ice cream or something of the like, the child will certainly follow suit. However, if the parent teaches the child that it is okay to be sad and where to go to comfort, the child will learn from these practices and have greater development habitually and emotionally.

On this concept, children should be taught where the ultimate source of comfort comes from: Christ. In John 14:18, it says, “For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ.” When a child is sad or disappointed, teach him or her to immediately go to Christ. They should not neglect the other forms of comfort, but should rely and go to Christ first.

The hardest part of this concept, and the entire idea of teaching children to delay gratification, is delaying gratification in your own life. It is so easy to get home from a long day of work and give your child an iPad for hours so you can relax and rest. It is so easy to give in to your child every time he or she so desperately wants ice cream, candy, or fast food. It is easy to avoid cleaning and send your kids to a “playroom” which is filled with endless toys and even more endless mess. It is easy to avoid raising your child. You cannot avoid raising your child, even if it is an incredible, seemingly endless amount of work.

The work is not endless, even if it seems so. At first, it feels awful to teach a child, even as it feels awful to go on a run for the first time. As time goes on, though, the child learns, develops habits, and now will delay gratification on their own. Is it surprising at all that the children who behave the best are not the “iPad kids” but rather the kids who are content to work, play, and clean on their own? (Mischel). These habits which form the foundation of a child’s brain will reflect in their behaviors and actions, and they will continue to follow these habits (Tierney).

In conclusion, delaying gratification is an important and fundamental skill. It has major effects on the physical, emotional, and neurological states of the body. It causes a substantially greater and healthier production of dopamine from reward, and, even though it is difficult initially to delay gratification, the body begins expecting and producing dopamine before the reward is even received. Delayed gratification is commanded by God, and He grants true fulfillment to the person who delays reward and works in a way which glorifies Him. Beyond personal application, delayed gratification is even more crucial in the development of the child. The effects of delayed versus instant gratification on a child’s brain are polarizing, the former bringing far more advanced development, connections, and function. Behaviors of children who follow one of these two pathways to reward are further polarizing with children who delay gratification finding much more success, better relations with friends and family, and better emotional health. With all that being said, it is vital for the people of America to forgo this instant gratification and consumerism culture so praised by the world for a better, truly fulfilling culture of work for reward. We must put aside this “endless pursuit of want” and replace it with an endless and ever-fulfilling pursuit of Christ.

It is no surprise that this is the truth; it is not hard to believe, especially with all the research supporting delayed gratification. The puzzle is all there, put together except for the one piece which is acting on this knowledge. Once we have started to delay gratification, we must teach our children to follow suit. Then, they will have the beautiful habit of delaying gratification to help carry them to an overall successful life, filled with reward and fulfillment. To end, the verse Proverbs 14:3 states, “In all toil there is profit, but mere talk tends only to poverty.” Therefore, we must act and delay gratification; God will grant us the profit.

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